CoffeePods
A series exploring Christian healing in a handy coffee-break sized podcast. Plug yourself in, pick up your mug of coffee, and let's go.
CoffeePods
Beyond The Smile: When Positivity Hurts
Ever felt the pressure to paste on a smile when your heart is heavy? We dive straight into the paradox of positivity—how hope can heal, and how “forced cheerfulness” can quietly wound people who need space to lament, confess, and be seen. From Scripture’s witness to Jesus weeping to the everyday contradictions we all recognise in church car parks, we explore how a culture of performance forms and how to replace it with presence.
We talk through the inputs that shape the soul—prayer, community, and Scripture—and why curating what we “feed” ourselves matters. But we also name the cost when churches discourage vulnerability: mental health takes a hit, seekers sense the façade, and those carrying grief or doubt learn to hide. You’ll hear real stories: a city pausing to reunite a lost child with her parent, a sanctuary embracing a disruptive, hurting man instead of removing him, and the quiet power of a warm blanket offered without judgement. These moments reveal what healthy positivity looks like—joy rooted in truth, not image.
Together we map practical steps for a wounded church to heal: widen the emotional range of worship with real lament and confession; rebuild trust through neighbourliness and shared burdens; model leadership that admits limits; and reframe hope in the light of the resurrection, where tears and praise can share the same pew. If you’ve ever longed for church to feel less like a courtroom and more like a hospital, this conversation will give language, courage, and next steps.
If this resonates, follow the show, share it with a friend who needs honest hope, and leave a review so more people can find these conversations.
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Coffee Pod, a podcast of the Acorn Christian Healing Foundation, exploring what's happening in the world to the lens of Christian Healing.
SPEAKER_02:I am just feeling so positive this time. Are you? Yes. Almost almost toxically positive.
SPEAKER_00:Oh my goodness. You know what? I feel the same way. I feel very smiley, very happy.
SPEAKER_02:Yes. Well, we we decided that that was uh that was a good thing for us to talk about. Toxic positivity.
SPEAKER_00:Which I had never heard that term be used. I know what it means, and we're gonna we're gonna go into it a little bit, but I'd never heard it until this weekend at the Healing Academy.
SPEAKER_02:I know what toxic means, and I know what positivity is, but when you throw them both together, it kind of makes your head spin around a little bit. How can how can one be toxically positive?
SPEAKER_00:Yeah, and so it when I do you know what? When I first heard the term at the Healing Academy, I s I thought, oh, that's a good thing. Toxic posity is a good thing, but actually we're gonna look at it in a slightly different angle and context, aren't we?
SPEAKER_02:Well, why don't we start out about let's talk about how being positive is a good thing? Because I think I I think it would be sad to to kind of start out and make everybody that's listening today think they have to question themselves whenever they're having a good day and they feel happy and smile and are positive, and then suddenly this coffee pod comes on and they're told, You're not supposed to be so happy.
SPEAKER_03:Yeah, yeah.
SPEAKER_02:There's something wrong with you because you're happy. I think I don't I want to dispel the myth that there's something wrong with being a positive human being.
SPEAKER_00:Yeah, totally. Do you know what? I'll start with a conversation then that I had over the weekend.
SPEAKER_03:Yeah.
SPEAKER_00:Um I met up with a friend of mine, and we were just talking about life, and we're saying that this time of year um we're just presented with quite a lot of negative, dark stuff because like the weather's changing.
SPEAKER_02:Oh, Halloween.
SPEAKER_00:Halloween, yeah, it's just put in front of us in a way. And we were saying how it's really important in this sort of season, anyway, um, to have things that are light and positive that we're like feeding ourselves with, and neither of us, you might be able to help, Chris, could think of the scripture, and it was about basically like what we take in in our eyes, um, goes like basically what we feed ourselves with uh sort of becomes us a little bit, and that's just made me think now, yeah, let's let's put some positivity, some light into our lives, and and hopefully feel a little bit happier and joyful.
SPEAKER_02:Yeah, I think so often what we you know what we take in to our lives kind of comes out in other places. And so um, I've often thought that um I think what you're talking about is Matthew 15, where it says what goes into someone's mouth doesn't defile them, but what comes out of their mouth is what defiles them.
SPEAKER_03:Yeah.
SPEAKER_02:Um, but it's it it's also, you know, we we live in a kind of legalistic world where people like to kind of have like black and white understanding about how sin works, and we take sin in and sin comes out. And but I I think really it's about having an authenticity about self. And so that means that don't consume a bunch of dark stuff in your social media feed and then expect to have a cheerful persona because it's kind of like when you when you eat a bunch of junk food, you're not gonna be able to run a marathon. Your body is not set up to to actually help you achieve your goals. And and I think spiritually it's the same thing to kind of never really feed your soul, um, never pray, never actually read the Bible, never really sit in a community of faithful people, um, and then expect to somehow have this glowing spirit. Yeah. I think there's a dis disconnect. Um, and it's really important that we um that we do intentionally uh ingest the positive stuff. Um, but that's I guess there comes a point where that can become toxic when you have to fake it or you tell yourself I'm not allowed to be really truly authentic when I'm not feeling happy and good and cheery. And and that's the part I think that we were touching on today is is how how it swings because you have to be real, and sadness and grief and despair and disillusionment, as we talked about at the Academy, those are all kind of part of who we are as human beings. And you know, and even Jesus wept and he lamented in the Garden of Gethsemane before they arrested him. He was he was frustrated and he felt abandoned by all these people. And um I think that is important that we embrace that aspect of the humanity of Jesus as well as the the walking on water, you know. We can't walk on water every day.
SPEAKER_00:Yeah, and it says here for the definition of toxic positivity that it's the pressure to maintain a cheerful crisade facade, fassade facade, while ignoring pain, grief, and division. I love that you've just said actually we do need to acknowledge some of those harder feelings. Um we we looked at it at the academy, didn't it? It came out of a question about what like burnout might look like, what wounds of the church might look out uh look like, sorry, and that's where this toxic positivity subject came from.
SPEAKER_02:There's a there's a clinical psychologist named Jamie uh Zuckerman, and um I think she's um an expert on like narcissism and stuff like that. Um there's a quote from her toxic positivity is the overgeneralization of a happy optimistic state that then results in denial, minimization, and invalidation of authentic human emotional experience. Now I know that was like a mouthful of rich chocolate because it's so thick, but really what she's saying there is that to be positive to the point of being toxic means that you're invalidating some aspect of self, your some emotional experience. You're you're kind of repressing or suppressing some part of who you are because the community that you're in is telling you you're not allowed to have those kind of feelings. So you just sort of pretend they're not there and hope that they go away. And and I think that can cause damage. That's why it's called toxic, because um, toxic things are like poison, you know. You you take enough toxic things in, eventually it's going to damage you. And so that's why there can be this level of positivity that is toxic.
SPEAKER_00:Yeah, and an example would maybe be like a church or churches avoiding lament, maybe discouraging vulnerability, mightn't they?
SPEAKER_02:And yeah. Imagine a church that says, Oh no, no, we we need the prayer team to handle that. We can't actually have such uh sad stories being in the heart of the church church community when we're worshiping, we're supposed to be happy and praise God and dancing in the aisles, and someone brings the vibe down by saying, Oh, my, you know, my brother died yesterday in a drive-by shooting, you know. Oh, well, let prayer team, could someone come and take John off to the side here and and minister to him because we don't want to bring the vibe down. And see, that's the thing where suddenly the person who has that very real urge to seek the love of the church will be like, Oh, I better not express that here because I'm gonna kill the vibe. You know, the or the I think is it is it the younger generation that said uses the phrase buzzkill? Yeah, such a buzzkill, which I know ties in with like being high or being drunk or something, but the idea of a buzzkill to me is so foreign because I don't really want the buzz. I I want the reality and the authenticity. So the buzzkill is kind of where I live. Um, because I want to be in a place where it's real. I don't want to be in an artificially um, you know, in a state which is altered in any way, but maybe that makes me weird and different, and that's okay.
SPEAKER_00:Well, I think it's quite authentic. I mean, I personally I find it really hard when it feels like the atmosphere is not real. I f I I I I respond a lot better to just knowing exactly how things are, and I know it's not always possible for for it to be like that. Um, but like you've just been saying, like if if if I can just feel a vibe that actually and and and to be honest, like I went through a season of trying to find a church where it was so challenging because of this toxic positivity. And I remember having a conversation earlier this year with a couple of my friends saying it just feels so fake, and I can't connect, I genuinely can't connect.
SPEAKER_02:Fake, what a word to associate being fake with being a follower of Jesus. You you go, wait a minute. I mean, if anything we're called to, it's not to be fake. We're we're truly called to become warts and all to the throne of grace. And the problem is we have so many of these cool churches, these people who worship in cool ways, and you wear the right clothes, and the pastors have to wear blue jeans now and a baseball cap. You know, it's it's kind of I'm such a nerd when it comes to the modern expressions of young worship because people seem to have this idea of, you know, uh, certainly I'm too big and I don't have enough hair on my head. And I guess now now you need facial hair. It seems like the new thing now is for the pastor to have a beard and a Bible that's all covered in in uh you know in highlighter ink. And um, but it it's so funny that we it's just human beings trying to create this formula, and then they we're we're kind of we're a lot like sheep, really. We sort of follow the crowd and whatever the crowd, and then we love celebrities, and so we create religion and religious expressions which kind of hero, hero eyes, is that a word? Um that we create heroes within the community so that we can look up to the faith leaders and say, wow, look at this guy, and then and then usually it's a good-looking fella, and all the gals come and sit and and they sort of goo goo at the this beautiful beard-covered pastor who loves Jesus and and has a tiny little waist, you know. It's it's the but and then you're not allowed to be sad, you're not allowed to say, gosh, I'm just having a bad day, or my kids are driving me nuts. Um, you come into the church and there everyone's like, Well, leave your troubles at the door. You're in church now, we're gonna worship the Lord Jesus, and you're going, Leave your troubles at the door. Wait a minute. I thought this is the place where you're supposed to bring all the baggage so that you can leave them at the altar of the Lord that in church, you know, when you repent of your sins, when you say the the confession in the in church, however you do Christian church, there's usually a confession in there somewhere. And then when you say, I confess to Almighty God, all the things I've done and left undone, I mean, that's your bag of junk that you're sitting in the middle of the church. And and if you're told, because you go to a place that's toxically positive, that you have to leave all that junk at the door, then you're not really repenting of anything when you're worshiping. You're you're actually being told, leave that stuff outside. You deal with that when you're in the car playing your radio in the car full blast and you're feeling the Lord in your car, and then you're feeling, you know, yeah, I did some dumb things this week. I, you know, the thoughts that I'm having, I really wish I didn't have. That's where your confession is happening in your car, because the church experience that you're having doesn't allow you to cry and to be a failure and to, you know, and to say, Lord, heal me and and fix me and lift me up. I'm, you know, I I want to be in a place that's not toxically positive.
SPEAKER_03:Yeah.
SPEAKER_02:Where the pastor looks at me and says, Hey, I can I can totally relate with where you're coming from because I've been there too. Holy cow, wait a minute. The good looking pastor in his blue jeans is gonna tell me that he has lusted, he has, he has uh done things that he shouldn't do, he's he's been angry, he swowed is shouted the F bomb at a bunch of people, you know, he gave somebody the finger. I mean, it wait a minute, that can't be true. That how can the shepherd of the sheep in our little church also be a broken clay pot, um, just like me, you know, but that's where it's it's risky to be authentic in in our church leadership and uh and it's risky to be vulnerable in our church followership. As a disciple of Jesus, I think it's important to to really be the wounded church, yeah, and um and to kind of walk into that reality so that you can ask for healing from it and not denial from it.
SPEAKER_00:That's right. Yeah. I remember hearing once, um, sorry, I'll just do this and then we would go further. I I can't think whether I was at church and heard this or whether it was on like a podcast or something, but um how prior to the Sunday service, someone was driving around the parking lot trying to get a parking space, and then get you know, effing and blinding and getting angry and frustrated.
SPEAKER_02:Oh Lord Jesus, give me a parking place. But they're being so you know, they're if you want me to go to church today, give me a parking place.
SPEAKER_00:But they're expressing they were expressing their anger and frustration, um, which is a real feeling, isn't it? We do feel that, and then as soon as you work walk into the church, it's all smiles, all love, that sort of thing, and it and it makes you question okay, so why is it that you felt outside the church you could be angry and F and blind and all that sort of stuff? Yeah, as soon as you go in the church, you're a different person, um, and I think that kind of sums up a lot of the the pressure we feel when we're among a Christian community to be a different person, be that happy, smiley.
SPEAKER_02:Sure. You should you should go to a church parking lot of one of these mega churches after church. It's the wildest thing. People have just been in church, there have been thousands of people praising God and singing the hymns and just enjoying everything. The minute they get in their car, they're honking their horns, they're pushing in because they got to get to lunch. Everybody's I gotta get out of the parking lot, and it becomes like leaving a football game.
SPEAKER_03:Yeah.
SPEAKER_02:And so suddenly, this mentality of being aggressive and being in a hurry, and I'm gonna get mine, and it's in suddenly the theology that is preached inside some of these churches starts looking like the behavior of the individuals outside. Because if you preach a theology that's all about me and my relationship to Jesus, it's just about me and God, me and God, me and God. And then I get in my car and I'm driving, and it's about me and my car, and me and God and my car, and me and my family. And I, you know, and suddenly you realize that what's missing is somebody bearing witness to the generosity of God and the attention to shift a neighbor. And so I think I mean it's it's kind of crazy, but I have I've literally watched the aggressiveness that happens. People like if you there was a fender bender at a at a mega church parking lot, and I saw a video of the people like really mad at each other because somebody backed into somebody else because they were both backing out at the same time, and their cars backed into each other, and it was the way they just completely became unhinged and and did the whole uh it's your fault, no, it's your fault. And it clearly was a case of it was both of their fault, but they were just furious, and there wasn't kind of a there was no compassion and no generosity, and it was just you're the enemy now because you dented my car. No, no, no, you dented my car, and and I think, gosh, the contrast of that to the happy person getting their free uh fruit juice when they get into the church and their donut from the welcome team who who are standing there smiling, all perfectly they've got their makeup on and their hairs done, and everything is absolutely on fleek. And they say, Hey, we're so glad you're here today to worship Jesus. And and you just, you know, that contrasts with this angry, I don't care who you think you are, and I yes, you just came from church and so did I, and you're gonna pay for my damage. It's that immediate switch. Um wonder we're confused because we we do seem to have tons and tons of of people who who their worship and their life in their religious walk is so disconnected from who they are in their regular daily walk. And I'd like for somebody to uh to see me, you know, at a restaurant or at the hardware store and have an experience of church just from engaging with me rather than saying, What a hypocrite.
SPEAKER_03:Yeah.
SPEAKER_02:Look at that guy over there. Who does he think he is? You know, but to I'll give you an example. We were in uh Kingston yesterday, and it's such it was such a beautiful day to walk up the river, and uh we got into Kingston and it was packed. There were so many people shopping, and that's you know, the town gets very busy in the afternoon, and um I mean tons and tons of people, and all of a sudden we hear this woman's voice screaming out, has anyone lost a little girl? Has anyone lost a little girl? And suddenly this mass of people, this sea of people, stopped walking. It was the it was spooky. I mean, it's it's so very England, really. But the English mentality is we stop what we're doing right now because we have to take care of this little girl. Yeah, and it it it literally brings tears to my eyes again today. It did yesterday. I was just like, how lovely that suddenly the whole community cared about this little girl, and then 200 meters up the road, I hear this voice. You know, I I don't remember her name.
SPEAKER_01:It was like, Mabel, Mabel, uh, we're looking for you, love, you know.
SPEAKER_02:And and uh, and I'm standing in the middle of the road, and I sort of I'm tall, and so I wave my arms and I'm like, over here, over here. And so through this sea of people, this father with the siblings comes running down the road, and this little crying little girl being held by this this stranger is there, and they manage to reunite, and then there's like a cheer. It it was it was one of those real quick moments where it's just like and then everybody started walking. Gotta go, gotta go, we gotta go shop. You know, we're here, we got business to do here. There's a cost, we've got to go get a coffee. But um, it made me feel so good because to me that's authentic. There's nothing fake about that. That's that's when you kind of go, Well, who are you really when the chips are down, when there's a child looking for parents, when someone's injured, when a little old lady falls in the road, and you watch, and people have a genuineness about them in those moments that I so wish was present in every Christian community. You know, so this is the anti-toxic positivity thing where you become positive and joyful because at your core you're authentic. And that's where you can be positive. Because I was very positive. I leaned over to my wife and I said, Isn't that beautiful? Isn't it? I hated that that little girl was so scared, but wasn't that a beautiful kind of moment that we were able to to witness? And um but anyway, that's my little little aside from our wander through Kings.
SPEAKER_00:No, it's it's helpful to have stories, isn't it? Um, so we were looking at the wounded church at the Healing Academy on Saturday. Little plug for those of you who haven't watched it, it's on YouTube.
SPEAKER_02:So guys, I think it's been I think it's got like 60 or so views since we aired. So that means we had 50 or so watching live, and and plus the people that watch the live stream, which was another bunch. So we're well over a hundred people having learned about the wounded church. So that's really great.
SPEAKER_00:It's it's really, really good. And and we're for those of you who weren't with us, we're just gonna take a few more points um to journey through the wounded church. So um right, what have we got on our notes, Chris? I suppose some of the wounds, isn't it, we've got here.
SPEAKER_02:Yeah, I I think again, toxic positivity often is the result of a wounded church because it's one it's one of the ways people cope with division. And when leadership fails and when there's burnout everywhere, one of the things you do is you find a foxhole. And I I would argue that wounded churches often have lots of happy people with pasty smiles, and at their core, I think some of them are actually quite wounded. Um, but the people probably don't know that, they just simply know how they're supposed to behave, um, you know, so it's it's like the the great quote, I've used this in so many sermons. The you know, the church is not a museum for saints, but it's a hospital for sinners. Um, you know, some people don't like the idea that um that we're we're not supposed to be this great collection of holy people, and so the the unholy, unsaved folk come and see us and they're so enamored by our smiles that they want to be like us. And that that's a model that some churches have. And I I actually like the idea that people come in and they go, Wow, that dude's just like me, he's just like real.
SPEAKER_03:Yeah, he's just real, he's authentic.
SPEAKER_02:I want to be like I want to be a part of this community because it's broken, it's damaged, and it's authentic, but they love God. Yeah, and that's a different way, I guess, to to do church.
SPEAKER_00:Yeah, and Psalm 34 says the Lord is close to the brokenhearted and saves those who are crushed in spirit. But actually, it just makes me think like if you heard that in church and you genuinely felt like that, but the environment around you kind of didn't really allow that, or it just wasn't like culture, like that's almost a contradiction to you know, like sharing that sort of scripture in church. It just makes me get thinking a little bit.
SPEAKER_02:Sure, sure. And then we did talk about burnout and disillusionment a little bit in the academy. And I hope people can they can go to our YouTube site and and click on it. It's a bit of a long video, but you can fast forward through bits. But um, you know, there there is an argument to be made that that some of the stuff that we're talking about about toxic positivity can actually lead to burnout and disillusionment, which can cause decline in in church engagement. Um, but you know, I think forced cheerfulness is the phrase that you often hear. Um, and I think forced cheerfulness can alienate people who are struggling with faith. Because they look at that and they they see right through the facade. And I think it can damage people, um, it can damage their mental health because they walk in and they're on a journey trying to find their authentic self, and then they're faced with a bunch of fakeness, as they would interpret. I've had people come to me in the hospital and in a crisis, and and I said, Well, have you been to church? Oh, yeah, I went to that church, a bunch of fakes. They're just they're just a bunch of fakes, they're they're not real. And then you're like, Why do you say that? You say, Because the person who was handing out communion, um, I saw them at a crack house, you know, they do drugs too. Or, you know, I'm I'm her plug, I sell her marijuana, and you go, Oh my goodness, was and so they see the lack of authenticity between the uh the people who are claiming this kind of happy clappiness and people who are kind of crawling in, struggling, broken, you know, homeless or struggling, have no money, have no food. Um, you know, and and is it the great Brene Brown who said you can't heal what you won't acknowledge. So it's one of those things where churches that don't acknowledge the brokenness, they can never really ask for healing because they're not claiming it, you know, they're not naming it and claiming it so that God can do something about it.
SPEAKER_00:That's really interesting. And while you're talking, it made me wonder if when the moments come when um there is uh either uh uh uh conflict in the church or there's um like a traumatic event or any, you know, anything that kind of you would class as a like a negative thing, whether we really know how to respond uh in a in a in a good and strong way because we're so used to it not happening, you know, we're used to the loveliness. Um because we, you know, we you hear of scandals, don't you? And um, you know, life life taking place within churches, and it just makes me then think, do we really know how to respond biblically to those things?
SPEAKER_02:There's a viral video that I don't know how many years it's been around, but there's a guy who um he picked up a homeless guy and took him to church. And the guy shouts out uh he swears out loud um a couple of times in the middle of this mega church. And the reason I think it went viral was because it was so authentic. The pastor who, you know, I don't know this guy, and I don't know, I don't know his theology, and I don't really care. It was just um it was a beautiful moment where the pastor had the sermon all prepared and he was preaching the third time for the day, and thousands of people are gathered, and all of a sudden he makes a comment and and he hears a guy shout BS from the side. That that because he was on, he's homeless and he knew how bad his life had become. And the video is quite, I mean, it's been viewed millions and millions of times, but he calls this, first of all, he calls the man down who had picked him up on the side of the road and invited him to church, which is a wonderful part of the story of how he didn't just walk past this man, but he said, Hey, you know, come with me to my church. And he had already been to church and he was coming back for a second service with a homeless guy. And then the pastor calls the homeless guy down to sit on the edge of the stage with him, and he hugs him and he talks about the prodigal son, and it's not beautiful, it's not smiley, it's actually tearful and so authentic because in that moment, this whole church community and people started walking down to the front of the church with money because they wanted to bless this guy with money because they knew he needed things, and so suddenly all these people just like start coming, and there's a big pile of money on the stage, and there's something about that video which is so different than what you normally get when you see mega church worship, which is choreographed, perfect music, beautifully performed, entertainment, just gorgeous. The lighting, the smoke machines, everything in those big churches. And then suddenly you have a guy that looks dirty, who's swearing. He's rough and he walks down and he hugs the pastor. And the pastor cries. And you're just like, this is what real positivity that's healthy looks like because we are positively embracing the call of Jesus to welcome home the sinner to embrace the prodigal son who went out and squandered his father's wealth and he turned around and came crawling back, just saying, Please let me know you still love me, Lord. And in that video, I think you get a real good taste of um of what real church can look like. It may not be, you know, if you're a sacramental type person that may look very foreign to you to say, this looks anything like church, but imagine if every house of God was postured in a way that it would welcome people off the street in all their stinkiness to come into the midst of the body and to find a welcome and to find bread. You know, that that's what Jesus called us to um, you know, from the beginning. That's how he called the disciples.
SPEAKER_00:Yeah, you're so right. It's I'm just trying to think what that would look like. I mean, it's such an encouraging uh thing to be aiming for. And we do need to work on creating safe spaces for people to come, and they're not going to feel like they're judged or uh you know, a project or anything.
SPEAKER_02:How many, how many times have you seen something where they go, security, security come, can can somebody remove this person? They're you know, because it's this isn't a West End show where a person's disrupting the show. People are here to enjoy the show. We need to get security to come and remove this person. But instead, the the show that that we've come to see is the active presence of the Holy Spirit changing lives. And what better way to demonstrate that than to have somebody from the fringe become part of the heart of the story of the gospel? It's like you can watch transformation happen right before your eyes. Um, but so that's about trust. We we talked about this on Saturday as well, how to rebuild trust. We we spoke about broken trust and and uh and I think part of that is about creating safe space and and honest conversation and and hospitality, not not just offering the homeless guy a cup of coffee because that's the right thing to do, but saying, come sit with me. Let's let's worship together. I'd love for you to be on my pew. And they go, Really? I smell bad. You you want to sit next to me? Are you sure? Um, yeah, I really do. I I because and and that's not about a fake smile, that's about a generous, authentic heart. Um, you know, Galatians 6, carry each other's burdens in the way, in this way you will fulfill the law of Christ, carrying each other's burdens. Boy, that's about sacrificial living, that's not about fake positivity.
SPEAKER_00:No, especially like, yeah, well, when you how do I describe this? Um it's one thing, uh, you know, just saying, Oh, I'll, you know, yeah, we'll pray for you when someone says they're having a bad time. But yeah, actually carrying the burden for someone and and even maybe just hearing what that burden is for someone, that can be challenging, but you're right, we we need to do that. How how might we do that? Like, what might be some practical things?
SPEAKER_02:Um, well the the was it James Garfield said the truth will set you free, but first it's gonna make you miserable. Yeah, um, I think we've got to come out of our comfort zones. Um, as the people of God, we we've got to decide that we're committed to being a little bit uncomfortable from time to time, yeah. And that it that means it's not always happy clappy and it's not always uh wily smiley. You know, it it's it's real, it's grounded. Um, there'll be times, you know, there are times in ministry when words are great and prayer is great and expressions are great and hugs are great. There are other times in ministry when silence is necessary, yeah, when presence is all you need, and when human touch is probably the last thing that's needed. You know, it's it's there's not like a um a litmus test or a um you know some kind of a um set way of doing things. You have to really be in touch with the Holy Spirit, I think. And um, and I think reframing hope and the way in which we live and follow Jesus um in the shadow of the resurrection. Everything um that we do, if it's in the shadow of the resurrection, that means the risen Christ drives all of our behavior. It drives everything we are, it shines a light on everything that is broken. Um, but that means that when we are smiling and when we are laughing, it's coming from a place of authenticity. You know, even though Jesus wept, that doesn't mean I'm saying you have to weep all the time to be like Jesus. Um, but I'm saying that you have to really be careful to identify the toxic positivity in your own faith journey. You have to kind of look at that and own it so that you can be truly positive and truly joyful in your posture toward God without losing the authentic heart that you have for serving God.
SPEAKER_00:Gosh, this gives us a lot to think about, doesn't it?
SPEAKER_02:Yeah. But what is it? The church was must be a hospital for the broken and not a courtroom for the accused. I don't know who said that, but it's uh I think so often these days that it's much easier to build churches like giant courtrooms and and the judge can sit up front and point fingers at people, and nobody wants to go to a courtroom. I mean, if you you know the accused is not a you know wanting to walk into a courtroom and stand in the box. Um, but if you're hurting and you're struggling and you know that this place over here is a hospital that will provide balm for your wounds, you're you're actually probably likely to wander in the doors and say, Hey, is there anybody here? Have you ever been in an emergency room and seen somebody literally walk in off the street? We had a situation one time where this um this woman walked into the back door of the emergency room and she just looked out and said, Can anybody here help me? And I was sitting there and I thought, well, that's exactly what this is that this place is for. You know, we're here for you. And she wasn't really injured visibly, but she needed help. She needed somebody to care about her, you know. So I went and got a we had this bread oven in the emergency room where we warmed blankets.
SPEAKER_03:Oh, lovely.
SPEAKER_02:It's kind of crazy, but people really um they feel so good when you wrap them in a warmed blanket. Yeah, and I remember putting a blanket around her, and one of the nurses got her something to to drink and uh and and some crackers or something. And we found out that she had a pretty rough story, and she did need some significant help, but um just the idea that you come in and and you're not immediately hit with judgment, that you're not sitting there going, Am I gonna be in trouble? I mean, you come into a courtroom and the first thing you the first person you meet is the the sheriff, you somebody with a badge who's carrying you know a weapon and they're like, Why are you here? You know, what are you doing here? Do you belong here? You know, what do you what's your business? State's your business, and they turn around and walk straight back out because nobody wants to be in that environment. But if you walk into uh a place of healing, like a hospital, um, and you say, Is somebody here able to help me? And if the first thing they meet is not judgment, but they find grace and a warm blanket, to me, that is uh a fantastic roadmap for a healthy Christian ministry and and engagement. And uh, and that's there's nothing toxic about the positivity of a warm heart and a warm blanket, honestly. I think it changes lives and maybe in greater ways than we could ever imagine.
SPEAKER_00:Yeah, I completely agree with that. Um just as we leave folk now or folks, um, it might be worth thinking, I know, Chris, you've already encouraged us to think about this, but where have you or I seen toxic positivity in your own faith journey and maybe just bring that to the Lord if you're feeling actually I haven't felt very authentic recently. Um, and and that's not a condemnation, that's an opportunity to bring that to the Lord. And so, Chris, would you pray for those who are listening and we'll bring it to a close?
SPEAKER_02:Yes, um it says in Micah 6, act justly, love mercy, and walk humbly with your God. And so, Lord, we we pray that we might rediscover some of that humility in our walk, and that we might truly uh be the people that you would call us to be, and that even though we are just a bunch of broken earthenware vessels, Lord, that we know that your treasure resides within each of us. And so help us to have authentic smiles and not to be trapped by the need to always be positive, Lord, that we can be real, and especially with our relationship with you, Lord, that we can just really be reliant upon your grace, upon your forgiveness, and upon your love. Be with us now as we go about our days and be a blessing in our lives and in the lives of the world around us that we will explore uh in this uh the coming hours. And we pray all this in Jesus' name. Amen.
SPEAKER_00:Amen. So thanks for joining us, and don't forget that the Acorn Lounge is taking place on the 13th of Thursday. Thursday, yeah.
SPEAKER_02:Neighborliness topic. Building on the Academy subject. So come and we'll talk about being a good neighbor.
SPEAKER_00:Yeah, I'm looking forward to it. And don't forget to like and subscribe.
